Photo by David von Diemar on Unsplash

Female harassment, abuse, rape, misogyny…who’s responsible?

Is responsibility shared? Maybe. But the change is one-sided…

After reading a post from another writer which I can no longer find(either it was removed, or my search skills are horrible) about IOPC — Independent Office for Police Conduct — rape, harassment and murder by male officers, I came to a set of conclusions…

Women should not dress so provocatively. Women should avoid going out certain times of day, and putting themselves in environments where men will potentially harass or abuse them. Women should also be far more aware of who they decide to have sex or relationships with so they can avoid such conduct.

OR…

Men can take responsibility for their impulses, their words and their actions. And a lot of that has to do with how they perceive themselves and their place in this world.

I can’t deny men’s history of or even present sexism, manipulative tactics, superiority complex over women, or any of the harassment. And I won’t. It stares all of us in the face.

I ALSO won’t deny that men in their most mature and ideal individualism are kind, compassionate, loving, protective, and potentially everything positive, opposite of male on female bullshit. Men can and are good humans. But stories prove otherwise.

What matters is the battle against the horrible things said above. And how do we get there?

It’s not the jobs of women to cover themselves more, blanket their sexuality, censor themselves, or hold themselves hostage inside their homes and favorite environments in order to not be available to male misconduct.

Evil men exist. Misogynistic, sexist, violent men exist. And so much of it is covered up or minimized.

No matter what women do, it won’t get rid of these men or keep them from harassing the opposite sex.

What will then?

Only men.

I’ve said this multiple times, and I’ll swear by it. Only men can do this work. And not just the work they do for themselves to be good men…but to be men that beat back evil men. Who stand up for women in words and actions. Men who not only advocate for equal rights and progressive acceptance of women and their sexuality and treatment, but to also put fear into the men who use and harass women. To create a more powerful energy, environment and social narrative…that’s it’s not okay.

It won’t be women that change men, it will be men who change men.

It may bother the world’s most extreme feminists, as they say the can take care of and protect themselves…but what about all the women who can’t, or are too afraid? I know that women like to claim power these days. Many don’t ask or are even offended by the aid of men…as if men are being sexist just by holding the door for you? By mentioning in public how beautiful you are? By standing up for you when cruel or crude men fuck with you? Come one ladies…

You can have the equality, the recognition, the power, without thinking you have to defend it. Believe it or not, there is a world surrounding you that supports you. That truly has nothing to do with all of us standing up for each other and speaking up against the jerks of the world. But, I digress.

All it takes is good men in the world to see the threats against women and stand up when it counts.

Act against the drunk and grabby asshole at the bar who is being crude who can’t read signals from the woman who isn’t interested. Act against the husband who raises his hand in public threatening his wife. Act in keeping a standard in the work place, at events, at environments. Act in whatever ways possible to make sure men are not getting away with the behavior all of us know are unacceptable.

Some people say, ‘change the world by being an example’. Which IMO will never change the men who see themselves as superior. The world has a bias against violence, but what about when that violence keeps evil men at bay? When it protects women from abuse? When it shows real threat to the men that think they can take something they don’t deserve just because they are physically larger or know they can get away with it?

Setting a good example will always be a persuasive and positive thing….but some men just want to watch the world burn, and will never be persuaded by example.

Violent actions and threatening words can go a long way in creating order. And I’m not condoning violence as a whole, I’m saying there is a place where strong capable and dangerous men need to be used against violent men.

Women can’t change evil men. Only good men can change evil men.

Change them. Deter them. Dissolve them.

Change my mind.

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