The Men who live as sheep have themselves to blame.

And we’re losing control of society because of it.

A collection of submissive and subordinate men let’s chaos reign. We have no protection, no truth, no justice, and no warrior to challenge evil itself.

I’m pretty critical of men…I’m also very compassionate toward them. Let’s say I have a ‘compassionate criticism’ for men when it comes to the value that I want to give and the conversations I want to have.

Why? Because I am one. I sit at the center of being overly critical to myself, while also trying to be compassionate to my existence.

Photo by Amirr Zolfaqari on Unsplash

I’ve spent my whole life feeling subordinate; inferior to everyone. Feeling that all men were better than me, and all women were too good for me(still working on this one). Yeah, I tried to hide these assumed beliefs with money and materialism, but our insecurities show through the cracks in our character and our actions eventually.

Most of these beliefs are part of some deep or inconsistent trauma that happened when we were children. You know…those things that show up as insecure attachment styles, narcissistic or dependent behavior, inability to control our lives or the obsessive control that ruins relationships. It’s become a rare thing that any of us grow up without some sort of “trauma”.

I personally grew up with a constant stress about life. I was scared of failing pretty much everyone, and I expected everyone to help me find the answers to life. I shook with shame at every rebuttal or challenge. I had no ability to venture or feel confident in my own decisions, and I wouldn’t take steps in anything unless I had someone to hold my hand through the process. I’ve been a child for most of my life, and I’ve forced myself to apologize to the people in my life for that.

The truth is, that how we live our lives and the efficiency and color of that life is dependent upon how well we deal with our relationships, starting with the one inside of ourselves. That means, accepting that if life isn’t satisfactory to you, then it probably has something to do with your avoidance of trauma and your deflection tactics you use to not have to deal with it. The satisfaction of your existence starts with how healthy and freeing your self-perception is.

What else do you think fights off the baddies of society if not YOU?

Theoretical trauma:

I grew up without my father starting at age one. I saw him for weeks at a time in the summer...until I didn’t. I lost my great grandfather at 10, my grandfather at 12, my step-dad at 14, had a falling out with my biological father at 14, and lost my other grandfather at 16. All chances at influential male role models, gone.

It left me timid, dependent, indecisive, highly anxious, annoyingly agreeable, and powerless. Long story short…I didn’t have anyone around to face. I didn’t have anyone to not only teach me about leadership and fortitude, but also no one to step into the ring with and test my resolve.

I lived life being carried, rather than creating the strength I needed to carry myself. But, I was done blaming other people for that a long time ago. And you should be too.

The whole idea here is this:

The loss of strong men is caused by men’s inability to deal with their shortcomings and inefficiencies. Men that are violent and aggressive that had to build a defense as a child or didn’t receive enough love and compassion. Men who are manipulative or narcissistic who had no one to care for them or were neglected. Men that use people and systems in which I have no legitimate answer for.

Photo by Brett Zeck on Unsplash

The world is full of men, and less and less of them are the men that we need.

I’m no shining light, but I do know that internal regulation of emotions, self awareness and self preservation are skills learned by mature and cognizant men. I’ve spent years playing and being addicted to being a subordinate, while simultaneously complaining about why I couldn’t have more or be better. It was the world I knew.

Good men don’t do this. Good men don’t waste time blaming, violating, manipulating, destroying people and systems. They stand against threats, give value to themselves and their people, and refuse to waste time with toxic and superficial behavior.

The critical side is:

Men are responsible for everything that they are. Yeah, the world’s a bitch, but men have an inherent confidence and resilience that makes them capable of anything. If you’re living a submissive and subordinate life, it’s because of your own fear and insecurity.

If your relationships are shit, it’s because you don’t know compromise and consideration of your partner…which means you probably don’t allow it for yourself either.

If your work in dissatisfying and you hate what you do, it’s because you haven’t the confidence to trust yourself and making decisions. It’s because you know what you must do, and won’t do it. It’s because you know you need help, yet you assume that no one will/can help you.

The compassionate side is this:

Men are insanely powerful. They are influential. They are capable of real justice and protecting the people. Men are capable of deep vulnerable love and bold leadership.

Men can have thriving relationships with authenticity, laughter, consideration and compassion.

Men can create highly valuable work that benefits the world, saves lives, or betters them. They can lead large groups of people toward meaningful and fulfilling lives. They can give wealth and health to thousands of souls in need.

I have a lot of things that bother the fuck out of me.

I still have a difficult time stating my place among men, arguing my point, and feeling like I’m an equal. I still have difficult time approaching women without thinking that I’m not good enough for them…even if she’s just a cute barista or an energetic gym rat like me. I still have a difficult time making business decisions and not making up excuses why I’m not ready or will never be good enough, but…

That’s all my own shit. That’s all my responsibility. It’s not men’s fault for my feelings of inferiority, it’s not women’s fault for feelings of being unlovable, and it’s not the world’s fault for my struggle with success. It’s mine. Regardless of how much the world and its people may deliberately try to hold me back, it’s my adaptability to situations and the ability to tell the overly dramatic and complacent world…to fuck off.

The two things that will always stand in your way gentlemen, are 1)the ideas and thoughts you have about yourself, and 2)the ideas and projections from the world that you take in. Two things that have a lasting impact on how far you go in life as well as how well you live your life.

Just because the world is warning, censoring, canceling, silencing…doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t push back. Step forward with that fear.

“A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a dangerous man who has that under voluntary control.” — Jordan Peterson

The health of this world has more to do with individuality than we think it does. The individuality that gives us sovereignty, that makes space and confidence for creative thinking, and gives time for us to understand that diverse collaborated individuals make this world strong and healthy, not co-dependent dramatic tribalism.

Let’s do this. Be the humans you were always mean to be.

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