and how entitled women are exacerbating the problem…
Ladies, before you get upset, don’t label yourself as entitled. If you’re reading this, you’re probably not. The world is chaotic, and men’s lack of responsibility is a huge factor in my opinion. But I think it’s important for all of us to know what we’re responsible for.
I have a theory:
The world is filling up with weak men. Toxic men. Emotionally unavailable men. Manipulative men. And it’s not to say these things didn’t exist before, or that it’s some new out of control sickness. We just have access to all information…all the time. The misses and mistakes are out there for everyone to see. So, maybe that’s it. But it seems to be causing a lot of reactions from all of us that are appalled or shocked over it.
A great article by Melissa Alvarez spoke of her history dating several men she labeled as bums that were ruining dating for other men(hopefully she meant comparably better men). The article was great, and it made me realize how much work men have to do to offset this narrative. When Melissa said, “Who is teaching these men this? I’ll tell you who — women like me. Women like who I was”, I instinctively disagreed. But I also had a point of agreement. She was close.
First and foremost, men are responsible for the state and condition of who they are. Period.
Men are responsible for the bums that they are. Men are responsible for taking advantage of women with low self-esteem and low expectations and dating standards. How do I know? Because I was this man. I may have been sweet and kind, but I was also full of insecurity and took advantage of my own lovers. I was instinctively attracted to women that had been broken or were low in self-esteem, because they just needed a kind soul to make them feel better.
This wasn’t something I knew I was doing. But, it was odd how my body picked up on this energy. Fuckin weird man…
Secondly, women are responsible for worsening the issue. Except it’s not the women who are not keeping standards and dating bums. That’s a self-esteem issue, and there are things far worse.
There are so many women out in the world today that are taking advantage of the new pressure to create equality, to run businesses, to take on their own missions to change and make a difference in the world. I’m all for it. I’ve dated a few strong women just like that….and it’s fucking hot. I love a powerful woman. Then again, I just appreciate the hell out of powerful people. They see their worth and they take their lives into their own hands. Almost like….we’re not victims after all??
However, there are women that are also taking advantage of the weakness of men…and therefore TRULY exacerbating the problem.
What do we know about these men that are ‘low vibration’ (who I have compassion for BTW)?
- They tend to be boys sheathed by man clothes, sure of adulthood because they have a job and a car
- They tend to be skilled well enough for the external world but missing the wisdom and patience of internal emotional regulation
- They think intimacy is sexuality, and think sex and love is a trade for their materials or their money
- Their uncontrolled emotions and hormones make them reactive, in which their paths are driven by, instead of identifying personal value and purpose in which to chase the world.
- They’re missing purpose and core value. Their wandering of the world makes them desperate, cloudy, and relationships superficial.
I’ll save details for another post, but a lot of this is molded by inconsistent attention in adolescence, emotional and/or physical abuse, missing or inconsistent habits, missing fathers or dominating fathers that encourage submission rather than challenge, initiations into adulthood, missing or poor peer relationships, over-protective mothers, and many other possible things.
These men are easily swayed by emotions and sexuality. They easily turn directions based on what they can gain for themselves rather than the what they can gain by giving. Not because they’re sinister necessarily, but because they’re conditioned to impulse rather than….patient analyzation? Mindful methodical thinking? These men are driven by self interest more than responsible, ethical, or moral standards.
These men easily gravitate to, and very easily incapable of turning from:
- pornography and masturbation
- materialism for pleasure or to ease anxiety
- sexual priority in relationships
- wealth and success to validate self-worth
Men and women both have their own internal struggles. And within those struggles we both have particular skills of manipulation we could take advantage of toward the opposite sex:
Men can flaunt their money, their confidence and their skills because it shows security and safety. A high value man is worth the investment. But, it doesn’t mean that he’s emotionally intelligent. Or communicative or vulnerable when he needs to be. Or able to be present and listen.
Women can flaunt their bodies, show grace and tenderness, show humor and be sweet. It shows acceptance and intimate comfort for men. A beautiful woman with the ability to make a man feel loved is worth the investment. But, it doesn’t mean she’ll allow him to show vulnerability and maintain trust. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her own agenda for you, regardless of a man’s mission. It doesn’t mean she won’t hold things over your head or make you feel guilty for having your own life.
One of the biggest moves of feminism and equality as I can see it, is to stop the objectification of women. I applaud this. I whole heartedly agree with it.
So, is selling your body still female empowerment? Is creating businesses that men slobber over and pay thousands for not self objectification? Yes, I’m talking to all sexual and soft/hardcore porn OnlyFans creators. How easy do you want to make it for men?
I’m not saying this business isn’t worthy of being one. But when women complain about weak men, then why are so many women taking advantage of the weak man’s outlets? Not only should you understand that you’re objectifying yourself, you must also know your validation of self is built off men who send DMs with three fire emojis followed by a tongue and wet emoji….followed by a peach that represents your ass. Right?
Social media outlets will never show all of who you are that proves your multi-dimensional quality of being a human. Change my mind.
If men only know and only pay you for pieces of your body, how….and why would they ever care to know your dreams and passions? Your insecurities and flaws? Your heart and soul? A $5 subscription that in return gives men “personal DMs” and endless nudity to jerk off to is far easier than getting to know you first…
What about the plethora of women that think men should grovel at their feet? The women who feel entitled to say that they are above men? That they are by default the Queens that the world has been asking for? The ones who think they’re beauty and their sex by default makes them flawless, untouchable, worthy of wealth and love just for existing? Is this not the female version of ignorance and arrogance?
What the fuck have these women done in order to earn such a title? Be born? What is there other than hypocrisy of equality and female empowerment when women use sexuality, nudity, cleavage, submissive dirty talk, and creating ‘erotic ASMR’ to arouse men for money?
I dare you to look up erotic ASMR… :0
Objectification of women is a problem…and a certain style of women exacerbate that objectification. Weak men will submit to it. Weak women will take advantage of it.
Strong men see past this bullshit. And strong men(and women) know that we all earn our value and respect. Strong men see past superficial seduction and sexuality. Strong men look for women that hold more to their identity; women who have strong core values, who are open-minded and who are mentally tough as fuck.
It’s a self-entitled manipulative women’s(little girl’s) game. Just as self-entitled emotionless men(little boys) are also playing a game.
It’s not so much that the games that are being played, but the ability to see through the veil; to be aware and take control of your own debilitating tendencies that weaken the hold on your own personal sovereignty.
The truth is, I don’t fall for these things. MANY of us don’t. I had my own issues and frailty with porn in my past, but I never had an OnlyFans. I may have been pulled in by the seduction of a woman and wanted nothing more than to take her clothes off, but I’ve never let anyone hold sex over my head or convince me that they are god’s gift to man(I do think women are an amazing gift that keep men from destroying the world though).
I get the frustration with manipulative men and women. I get that men take advantage of women and blind them with status and security. I get that women use sexuality and damsel-in-distress characteristics to twitterpate men.
But…if you’re a human with core values, with feelings of self worth, with an independent identity, then you’re almost completely impervious to such nonsense.
Men and women are truly fucking with each other…but you don’t have to be a part of it.
You got this beautiful humans.