Photo of Author

What Happens When Women No Longer “Need” Men?

Self-destruction may possibly be what comes after the destruction of your male adversary

I’m finally hurt…or am I?

I mean, what I’ve been feeling the last few weeks maybe hasn’t been pain, but maybe pity. Pity for women.

Yeah…that does sound like a toxic trait of masculinity right? Or maybe you can consider it an arrogance of an ignorant man. Maybe it’s projection of the pity I have for myself. Maybe it’s even just a deflection tactic to distract people from my insecurities.

You, as the reader, may never know. You, as the reader, get to assume what it is by your one-dimensional perspective of me. At best, you could read through my past writing, look up my social media accounts, and maybe get an in-depth idea of what kind of man I actually am.

But would that be enough?

We all seem to be so sure of ourselves that we’ve figured out what exactly it is other groups are, or what they’re doing just by relating our own intimate experiences and scientific or statistical research.

Then again…your assumptions and mine have a very high probability of being off-base and unfairly judgmental. Even if we do all the work possible to identify someone. But, without you actually meeting me, knowing me, and diving into the depths with me, can you really know me?

Can you so blatantly decide that I am evil? Corrupt? Unworthy of love and relationships?

Not really. Not with anymore than what I’m willing to tell you on here…and as I’ve been told by the last woman I had a relationship with, I’m tactically vulnerable. Which by her definition meant that I would be honest and open but only after I had prepared myself for the ‘vulnerable conversations’.

So…you maybe never know how vulnerable I’m actually being.

I’ve read so many stories on Medium up to this point. I truly love to do so. It gives me perspective, and it feels like I’m making connections and building rapport with other writers.

There are so many stories and articles that are based off of what interests me the most, and what fuels my curiosity…which as I’m noticing is including a select few things I’m defensive about. And now my suggested feed is filled with almost nothing but relationship experiences and articles based around what is wrong with men.

I ask myself…why?

Unfortunately now, I’ve read so much fact based material and very real experiences women are putting up about the sexism, misogyny, and violence of men; the childishness and the lack of effort of all men. It seems that the world today has somehow created an overbearing plethora of men that don’t know how to please a woman, let alone help her with children and the tasks around the house.

At this point, men are so incapable that women have pushed this idea that men are actually no longer needed. Men supposedly don’t do anything, especially in respect to gaining love from a woman, so is there even a reason to be in a relationship with men? Is there any point in having them in a world where women have to constantly fear them? If men can’t commit, and men are constantly harassing and abusing women, then maybe they should be swept from the world…

That’s how far this has gotten. This…mindset.

Yet, what I try to keep in mind is that whatever I surround myself with, including Medium stories, is also going to give me the tendency to assume that is my reality. My mind will start to ignore the contradictive truths of my environment and the experiences I have, in the sole effort to keep me in check with the idea that “everything is on fire, women should be gods, and men should be ashamed for everything that they have done, and are doing.”

And this is story I refuse to let taint and darken my world and reality itself.

I’m not hurt. I stopped being hurt by the way women saw me a decade ago.


Women didn’t want me. Because of my immaturity, my emotional numbness, my victim mentality, my inability to be in control of myself, my boxy 5'3" frame…all things changeable apart from the unchangeable fact of my height.

The most hidden blessing in disguise.

Behind every shortcoming of attractiveness is the clarity of the people that will actually love you. For example, most women(justifiably) don’t want to date a short man. Because of that, I will whole-heartedly and satisfactorily know that the women that I do date, give no fucks about my stature, and do about my character and my heart.

What I am, is sorry

  • I’m sorry that as individuals we’ve taken the constant feeding of media to prove to ourselves that everything is true; all-encompassing.
  • I’m sorry that instead of building resiliency and trust and stepping forward with vulnerability and the strength to withstand hurt, we instead hold up our walls and scream to the world about what’s wrong with it…from an eagle eye view.
  • I’m sorry that we hate each other on these platforms more than we love each other, and eventually take that into our personal lives because we’ve convinced ourselves it is true.
  • I’m sorry that we’ve succumb to our brain’s ability to find all of the negative in our environment and our experiences to prove our story, regardless of the offsetting experiences and opportunities that faintly call to us from beyond our personal bubbles.
  • I’m sorry that instead of looking for uniqueness and diversity, we’ve built the narrow minded idea that there are two parties to every challenge, and we must assume everyone who opposes us must be wrong, evil, and of the same adversarial tribe.
  • I’m sorry that we no longer look to push ourselves forward with love and curiosity, but rather with malice and an intent to kill…that we know exactly who our enemy is, and because of that, they must die.

“To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.” — Sun Tzu

We all think we know our enemy…and I have very high doubt of that. It’s what I do. I question.

And so much of the world is now digital, less and less in its physical form. And with it the very wisdom that comes with the multi-dimensional understandings of the people around us.

We are creating enemies at the same time losing our in-person experiences.


Men have flaws. They always have. I have many.

I won’t deny them. I won’t try to lessen their impact.

But, what I will do, here and now…is tell everyone woman that has built a story, an argument, and a war against men…all men…based off of sole experiences and their so called “wisdom”, to…FUCK. OFF.

Respectively of course.

Women are not pure. They are not without fault. They are not with arrogance. They are not without entitlement issues…nor are they without the tendency to be resentful, malicious, and violent.

But I have yet to build a case to crucify women as a sex. Nor do I ever want to.

I used to be the white knight. A co-dependent. A “simp” if that seems like a necessary term. It’s taken me years to build a healthy mind that isn’t gravitational to the need and desperation for women.

As healthy individuals fighting for a life that we would love to live, we shouldn’t need a relationship…but we can want them. And I feel for all of the heterosexual women who no longer have the trust towards men to enjoy such a thing.

If men are what so many women say they are, then why is it that I would still want to improve myself?

It’s because I know one powerful thing…I’m no longer trying to prove myself otherwise to the opposite sex in order to be accepted for love.

The greatest thing I ever realized was that the more I improved on who I was…the more I found my passions, built good habits, and found self love, then the more I would love the people and the world around me…including women.

I haven’t spent years of my life trying to become better for no reason. I’ve worked on my emotional awareness. I’ve worked on becoming open minded, being kind, compassionate, understanding. Yet also steadfast, confident, self-respecting, and decisive.

And I didn’t do it for women. I did it for myself. And I did it for the few women that I will come across that I want in my life.

Select women out there can scream to the heavens about the destructive, violent, and volatile flaws of men. All day if they want. For all of their lives if they want.


They’re wrong.

Regardless of proof. The facts. The media. The experiences.

And why?

Because the battle of the sexes is blind to the diversity that lies within that damaged dichotomy.

I am proof of it. And so are so many thousands of men out there. And we are never going to try and prove ourselves to the women that now hate us. We will turn and walk away. We show who we are, regardless of the audience, and we will become friends and fall in love with the men and women that also trust themselves enough to have the same thing.

I love women. Always will. But only the ones willing to love me back.

So, what is to become of the world when men are gone?

Who knows. My mind is not that sharp.

But to the women that are sure that world would be better off without such a horrible version of human…

What will you become when there are no men?

What will intimacy look like for you?

When things go wrong, who will you look to fight the wars?

When the world experiences chaos, what will bring order?

What will happen when the balance of the world tipped to greatly because men are gone entirely?

When the fluidity of the feminine loses its direction, where will the masculine be to keep it in check?

When your greatest enemy has gone, who then will you seek to blame, to destroy?

If not for men…how great would the world really be?

I hope it is a great as you dream for it to be.

Then again…

Maybe men aren’t as bad as your stories say they are.

Maybe the emotions that you’re so great act are fueling a false narrative you’re putting out into the world.

Maybe you don’t hate men as much as you think you do…and maybe you don’t wish to snuff them from the Earth.

This is my ask of you…

If you can seek within yourself and set aside emotional outrage; if you can dismiss, at least for a moment, that your experiences are not that of all women…if you can remember that you are love, that you are the compassion that soothes the hardened heart, that you are life itself and the true creators of life…can you truly and purely commit to the destruction of men?

To the men that are reading this:

Do not trust the stories that are built to tear you down. Do not let the opinions around you manipulate your story into a negative perspective of yourself. Do not let the pressure of toxic feminism and the history of men and patriarchy shame you and belittle you into a corner. Do not let the movements of society intimidate you into a corner, and flawed ideologies make you hate yourself and turn against your own sex….or yourself.

To the women that are reading this:

I hope you can see the truth of what men and women really are. I hope that you can see that skewed portrayals do not prove the majority. I hope that you can see that men are influential and good and strong. I hope that you can see that your love and femininity is the very thing that calms the storms of men, and reminds them of empathy and affection. You are our opposite.

I hope that you can see beyond the hate any bias and know that we are all in this together. Many men do see you…and many men out there are the men you may so desperately(and secretly?) seek.

And I hope you see that as soon as we are gone, you may likely turn against yourselves…

This world is a mess…yet I still love you all. Men and women.

Trust and love my friends.

Stay rebel minded.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Zackary Henson

Zackary Henson

Podcaster and Writer who questions the fuck out of everything. Truth and love.